The Tekken Halloween Special
by Caligula II
Summary: My fifth holiday special. Kazuya hosts a masquarade party at Mishima Manor but there's more to this party than meets the eye.
1. Gathering a Crowd

**AN: Ladies and gents, boils and ghouls. This is your captain Caligula II speaking. We'll be experiencing some turbulent insanity in this fic which will be known as The Tekken Haloween Special.**

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It was a cheerful day in Anytown, America when Craig Marduk found himself in his own home. 

'That's weird.' he said. 'I'm usually breaking some people's faces this late in the afternoon.'

But deciding that he will take a day off, Craig proceeded to access his email which was illbreakyourface (at) tekken. com.

'Hmmm... one message.' said Craig. 'That's weird. I don't usually get much mail.

He opened the message which said:

'Dear fellow Tekkenite. I am inviting you to my Halloween party which will take place at Mishima Manor, Kazzy drive no. 13. Sincerely, Kazzy Spookenstein. '

'Crikey. I never get invited to parties.' said Craig Marduk. 'I'll definitely go.'

And without any further ado, he grabbed his facebreaking stuff and marched on to Mishima Manor.

On the other side of town, Yoshimitsu was engaged in a Bruce Leesque fight with Bryan Fury,

'Now I avenge cran honour by kicking your solly ass.' said Yoshimitsu.

'Yippie cow yea, motehrfucker.' said Bryan.

'You shall yield to my blade, gajin!' shouted Yoshimitsu as he attacked Bryan.

'Take this advice punk.' said Bryan as he dodged Yoshi's attack and punched him, sending him flying through the air.

'Ninja manual not cover this!' shouted Yoshimitsu as he flew into a wall. He got up and punched Bryan's face.

'My name's Bond. James Bond.' said Bryan as he got up.

'Everybody was kung-fu fighting!' shouted Yoshi as he ran towards Bryan.

'I'll clean you all!' shouted Bryan as he himself started running towards Yoshi.

At that precise time a truck drove by and a delivery person stepped out.

'Hello. I'm Handsome Rob. I have a delivery for Bryan and Yoshimitsu.' said the delivery person.

'That's us.' said the two in unison.

'Plese sign here.' said Handsome Rob.

'So Rob.' started Bryan while Yoshi was signing. 'How come they call you Handsome?'

'Because I'm handsome, duh.' said Rob.

'Good point you have there, young one.' said Yoshi.

'Take care and watch me in Transporter 2. Cheers.' said Handsome Rob and drove away.

'Good riddance.' said Bryan. 'Now let's see what's in the package.'

'Aiii. It might be bomb.' said Yoshi. 'I open it with secret ninja power.'

'Yeah, you do that.' said Bryan and rolled his eyes.

'Hai. It say, Hello Tekken people. I Kazzy Spookenstein and I invite you to gureat party at Mishima Manor for Haroween.' explained Yoshi.

'Ohcool.' said Bryan. 'Last time I got invited to a party I boned this great chick... Kunimitsu.'

'Hai. I know. She my girfriend before that.' said Yoshi.

'Gee, sorry man.' said Bryan.

'No probrem. I no go Kuni-chan anymore.'

'So, you come to this party?' asked Bryan.

'Yes, I come many times party.' said Yoshi and the two highfived each other.

Meanwhile, accross town, MC Boskonovitch was kicking it old school.

_I'm a disciple of science  
I know the universe is compliance with natural laws,  
but many place reliance on the psuedo-science of quacks and  
morons and fools because,  
their educations deficient,  
they put faith in omniscient,  
make believe beings who control their fate,  
but the Bosk aint with it, dig it,  
their Holy writ aint the least bit legit,  
its a bunch of bullshit._

_They need to read a book that ain't so damn old old,  
let reason take hold,  
though truth to be told,  
they're probably already too far gone,  
withdrawn, the conclusion foregone.  
But maybe there is still hope for the young,  
if they reject the dung being slung from the tongues,  
of the ignorant fools who call themselves preachers,  
and listen instead to their science teachers._

Upon blind faith they place reliance,  
what we need more of is science!

_  
Uh yeah, that's right!  
Fundamentalist assholes!  
Screw the hole lot of them._

_  
Look, I ain't Thomas Dolby,  
science doesn't blind me,  
think you're smart? Form a line behind me,  
you won't find me, truth to tell,  
to be a man who suffers fools very well.  
Quite the opposite in fact,  
I aint got time to interact,  
with crystal wearing freaks in need of a smack.  
New age motherfuckers? Don't get me started,  
I made more sense than them, last time I farted._

_Not to put too fine a point upon it,  
but the whole new age movement is full of shit.  
Please allow me to elaborate,  
explicate, expatiate.  
from astral projection to zygomancy its a,  
mish mash of idiocy.  
Instead of the archaic worship of seasons,  
they should explore logic and reason._

_Upon blind faith they place reliance,  
what we need more of is science!_

_Upon blind faith they place reliance,  
what we need more of is science!_

_  
__Fucking new-agers!  
Is there any amount of bullshit they won't swallow?  
It's two-thousand-aught-seven goddammit!  
When are these morons gonna join us in the 21st century?_

When he was done, a guy walked up to him and said 'Excuse me Dr. B. You have a message.'

'Oh, jeah. I luve it when the bitchez be writing to me.' said Doctor Boskonovitch. 'They be wanting some of the B.'

'Here's your cell, boss.' said the guy named Guy.

'Jeah, who be text messaging me?' asked Dr. B. 'Let's see.' Joo be showing up to ma party in the mishima crib, dig. Kazzy Spookenstein. Peace.'

'Yo I be going there.' said MC Boskonovitch as he packed the Uzis in the posse and headed for the Mishima crib.

Meanwhile, back at Mishima Manor, Kazzy Spookenstain was rubbing his fingers together.

'Aw man this is gonna be one kickass party.' he said.

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**AN: Ich bin der Käse!!!.. Well not realy, but whatever. Review and give me ideas.**


	2. Sugar Rush Revisited

**AN: Hello and thanks for reviewing. Your reviews make me happy.**

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As Kazzy was standing in the middle of the party, the guests were pouring in from all directions. 

On one side, Bryan, Yoshi and Marduk were standing and chatting.

'Whoohoo!' whoohooed Bryan. 'Did you see Nina's outfit? She's supposed to be Eve. Only a fig leaf and a blonde wig.'

'Yeah, man. She's fucken shmexy.' said Marduk. 'Check out Julia yet? She's dressed like Tira from Soul Calibur. Sheer sexyness.'

'Hai.' said Yoshimitsu. 'But they no as sexy as me.'

'What are you supposed to be anyways?' asked Bryan.

'I butterfly.' said Yoshi and he sprouted the butterlfy wings from his armor.

'That's sooo gay, man.' said Marduk.

'"I, I, I, I'm your little butterfly, green, black, and blue, pretty colours in the sky.' sang Yoshimutsu.

'What fucken ever.' said Marduk. 'Anyways, Bryan, what are you supposed to be?'

Bryan, who was dressed in a black suit and tie with a red shirt said: 'I am a zombie gigolo.'

'You're an undead man-whore? Gross.' said Marduk in disgust.

'Yeah. It gets kinda boring having your tool fall off every time you're on duty.' said Bryan. 'Anyways, what are you dresed as, Craig?'

'I'm a pro wrestler.' said Marduk. 'Craig smash, crash and bash! Grrrr! Where's Marduk's cash?!'

'You want chopsticks of fork?' asked Yoshi for no apparent reason.

'I just wanna take you home!' shouted Marduk.

'Domo arigato, Mr. Roboto.' said Bryan.

Meanwhile, MC Boskonovitch was rapping on the dance floor.

_I never sweat about an American dude  
He's just a limp-wristed Brit with a bad attitude  
And they're sly and they were telling lies  
A shout out to Sasha who lost an eye  
To the Afgani, and they are too funny  
I'm on them like a transwarp engine  
Fear my snarl hear my speach  
Watch me blow like the Chernobil breach_

_I've got the visions of the future on my mind  
I've got visions of the future on my mind  
I get visions of the past on my mind  
And that my boot smells like Ganryu's behind_

_I hate the bears_

_Those little furry shits  
But I love my Russian bitches  
Cause they've got big tits  
I got a dagger and a Makarov in my hand  
If you were any other man  
I'd kill you where you stand_

_I killed Dragunov  
I killed Jack-1  
I bitchslapped Stalin like a I had a lot of fun  
Cause my name is Geppeto, I'm the son of Boris  
Ex-Soviet officer and Russian force  
Strelai!_

'Whoo-hoo!' shouted Kunimitsu. 'I loves the rap.'

'Jeah, and to all the sexy-ass bitchezz out there, ' shouted Boskonovitch. 'There is more than enough Bosk to go around.'

'Man I love that guy.' said Julia who was chatting with her friends Kuni and Asuka.

'Yeah, he's soo shmexy.' said Asuka. 'And did you know that he bones 7 chicks a day.'

'He's so dreamyyy.. ' said Kuni like a 12 year-old girl.

'Yeah. I wanna marry him.' said Julia.

Meanwhile, Kazzy was answering the door.

'Trick or treat.' said some kids.

'Gah, kids. you have candy?' asked Kazzy.

'Yeah, but you're supposed to give us candy.' said one kid.

'Yeah, but I like my candy. I'll give you paté and caviar instead.'

'We don't want paté and caviar. We want candy.' shouted the kid.

'Well I am bigger than you and I will take your candy!' shouted Kazzy.

'No you won't!' shouted the Kid.

'Yea I will too!' shouted Kazzy and took their candy.

'Whaa now we don't have candy!' said the kids and covered their faces with their bangs, flicked open their mp3s and started listening to My Chemical Romance.

'Oh, don't be emo.' said Kazzy. 'I'll give you latte.' and he gave them latte.

'Kazzy the latte boy, bring me latte, bring me joy.' sang the kids and they left.

'Oh joy now I have candy.' he said as he ate all the candy in one bite.

Then, he started getting red in the face.

'Un turista 'mericano vino a Mexico  
Y simplemente no pudo creer lo 'ca 'quí vió  
Sensa un trueno, y la tierra firma se'l abrió  
Salieron muchos esqueltos de ese hueco. 'he sang

'Boss,' said Jack the creepy butler. 'You okay boss?'

'Ayayai. Joo scared the pantalones of me, joo retarded pendejo.'

'Somebody apply the frying pan, he's had another sugar rush.' said Jack the creepy butler.

'¡Por qué, no 'tiré!

Dia de los Muertos, cien calacas vió  
Oh, oh, oh, el gringo s'asustó  
Dia de los Muertos, el cabrón s'arrugó  
Oh, oh, oh, aquí en Mexico.' sang Kazzy again.

CLANG! Kunimitsy smacked him over the head with a frying pan.

'Aye caramba.' said Kazzy as he passed out.

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**AN: Ai caramba. Thanks to my ese, Hello Nesa for giving me the idea of having Kazzy scare away kids. He is loco in the kabeza i know that.**

**Anyways, bye and do review.**


	3. Bears On A Plane

**AN: Many thanks for the many reviews on the last retarded chapter.**

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Because Kazzy was out cold for the moment, MC Boskonovitch took over as the party master. 

'Yo, bitchezz! I be layin' down some booze on yo' asses.' he said and beer started to flow from holes in the ceiling.

'Great. I love booze.' said Bryan.

'I too rike beer and b00bz.' said Yoshimitsu.

'Whoops I did it again.' said Marduk as he danced around naked in a drunken haze.

'Ewwww, what a sore sight for healthy eyes.' said Julia.

'There goes the last ounce of my heterosexuality.' said Asuka.

'What a gross hairy ape neanderthal are you?' asked Kunimitsu.

'I like the ladies.' said Marduk as he started shaking his butt and something else.

'Grosss. Somebody kill his ass!' shouted Julia.

'Jea, bitch. I please to aim.' said MC Boskonovitch as he popped a cap in Marduk.

'Goodnight demon slayer, goodnight.' sang Marduk as he pased out.

'OMG MC B.' shouted Asuka and Julia.

'Yeah, homies. MC Boskonovitch is in the house and he be takin' care of buisness.' rapped MC B.

'Ohmigosh he's so dreamy.' said Asuka.

'I wanna take him to the candy shop.' said Julia. 'He'll let me lick the lolipop.'

'Did somebody say loli?' asked Heihachi who was dressed like Spider-Man. 'I love loli.'

'GTFO you perverted old fart!' said Asuka. 'Go jerk off to rabbit porn.'

'Oh, I'm not too fond of rabbit porn. I prefer young girlz.' said Heihachi.

'Ewww, what a pedo!' sasid the three girls and they kicked him in the nads.

'I love it when they get angry.' said Bryan.

'Hai. Ret's go there and give them booty call.' said Yoshimitsu.

'Good thinking, man. You're realy getting into this gigolo thing.'

'Aiaiaiaiai. I gureat gigolo now.' said Yoshi.

So they both headed towards the girls.

'Hey there, gurls. Name's Bryan.' said Bryan

'And I Yoshimitsu. I ninja.' said Yoshi

'We don't like ninja.' said Julia.

'Yea.' said Kunimitsu. 'We prefer pirates because they are cunning linguists.'

'Hai. I ninja pirate.' said Yoshi.

'Damn. I thought you girls dig tough guys.' said Bryan.

'We don't. We prefer guys who are sensitive and thoughtful, like MC B.' said Asuka.

'So-reva!' swore Yoshimitsu. 'Only way we be thoughtful if we gay. We no gay.'

'Dang, where is that Lee when you need him?' asked Bryan.

Meanwhile, Lee was helping Kuma walk on the ceiling.

_'Spider-bear, Spider-bear_

_Does whatever a spider-bear does_

_Can he swing from a ledge?_

_No he can't. He's a bear._

_Look out, here comes the Spider-Bear!' _he sang.

'Hey, Lee!' shouted Bryan. 'Can you help us become sensitive?'

'Hai. And thoughtfull.' added Yoshimitsu.

'And why do you fine gents need my assistance?' asked Lee.

'We need it because we wanna get it with some chicks but they prefer sensitive guys.' said Bryan.

'All right, gents. I'll see what I can do.' said Lee.

Meanwhile, on the dance floor, a ghost appeared.

'Everybody run! It's a ghost!' shouted someone.

'We gotta get to the bottom of this.' said Kuni.

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**AN: Spider-pig, spider-pig. Anyways, be sure to review because your reviews make me happy.  
**


	4. The Mystery Of The Ghost

**AN: Hello again. Like always thanks for the many reviews I got for the last chappie. I appologize if the rabbit porn mention offended anyone. No rabbits were harmed in the making of this fic.

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**

Julia, Asuka and Kunimitsu were hiding from the ghost in a barrel full of potatoes.

'We gotta find out where that ghost came from.' said Kunimitsu.

'Yea, and we gotta capture him.' said Julia.

'Yes, we should.' added Asuka.

'Hey, guys, can I like hide with you?' asked Xiaoyu who was running with Panda.

'Be our guest.' said Kunimitsu.

'Like, Panda, girl, we like found a place to hide.' said Xiao.

'We gotta get to the bottom of this mystery.' said Julia. 'Let's split up and look for clues. Me, Kuni and Asuka will look for clues. Xiao, you and Panda ask people about the ghost.'

'Like, why don't we make like a ghost and dissapear.' said Xiao and Panda said 'Yes.' in Pandeese.

Meanwhile, Yoshi and Bryan were training sensitivity with Lee.

'Here's the situation.' started Lee. 'Let's asume that I'm a girl seating all alone in the bar. I'll go and sit all voulnerable and waiting for you to pick me up like the sensitive guys you are.'

'Hai, Bryan you go first.' said Yoshi. 'I want make sure it not as gay before do it.'

'Okay.' said Bryan. 'Hiya, sweetcheeks.' he said to Lee. 'Wana go to my place and take a whiff of my bong?'

'Nononononono!' shouted Lee and he bitchslapped Bryan. 'Now you be the girl, and I'll show you.'

'Great.' said bryan sarcasticaly. 'I have queer Lee hitting on me.'

'Now, sit in a more girly fashion. Try to fix your hair a lot and always be worried that you look bad.' said Lee.

'Whoa Nelly.' said Yoshi. 'This gayer than Hard Gay on crack.'

'Okay, girls. Watch out here I come.' said Lee and he made some gay moves in Bryan's direction.

'Hey, there miss. I couldn't help noticing you look smashing today.' said Lee. 'Now you act like a girl.' he whispered to Bryan.

'Ohmygosh.' said Bryan, like a girl. 'I like, totaly dig gay guys. Are you like, gay?'

'Hay baby. We're all a bit gay deep inside. You just gotta unleash your inner flaming homosexual.' said Lee.

'Like, totaly cool. I like you.' said Bryan.

'Hai, this so gay I start liking guys.' said Yoshi.

'See? Bryan digs me now.' he said to the guys. 'That's because I'm a sensitive guy.'

Suddenly, Hwoarang materialized out of nowhere.

'What's that? Lee, you like someone else other than me?' he asked.

'Nonono, sweetie, it's not how it looks. I'm just helping these guys out.' cried Lee.

'A likely story, that.' said Hwoarang. 'I thought we had something special.' and he left.

'Noo! Honey!' cried Lee. 'Now look what you did.' he said to Bryan and Yoshimitsu.

'Hey, all we did was sit there.' said Bryan.

'Hai. Your gay merodrama make big mess.' said Yoshimitsu.

'Oh, you guys.' cried Lee.

'Hey, Yoshi.' said Bryan.

'Hai, I here.'

'Let's give him a hug.'

'Hai. He might cheer up.'

And they all hugged.

Meanwhile, Xiao and Panda were talking to Jack the Creepy Butler.

'Like, did you see anything suspicious?' asked Xiao.

'Reah, ruspicous.' said Panda.

'Yes. Indeed I saw one MC Boskonovitch snooping around the mansion.' said jack the Butler.

'Like, how about a ghost?' asked Xiao.

'Reah, rost?' asked Panda.

'It has been said thet the ghost of Jinpachi Mishima will haunt the mansion in times of lots of booze and beer.' said Jack the Creepy Butler in a creepy voice.

'Zoinks!' shouted Xiao suddenly. 'Like there's the ghost right behind you.' and she pointed behind Jack. 'Run, Panda.'

'Scooby-Dooby-Doo!' shouted Panda as she ran with Xiao to the drawing room.

'Booooooooo!!' booed the ghost of Jinpachi.

When he entered the drawing room, Xiao and Panda were dressed as masseurs.

'Like weelcom to out masage parlour.' said Xiao in a German accent.

'Reah, rassage rarlour.' said Panda.

'We have a full treatment Yapanese massage for yoo.' said Xiao and she massaged the ghost.

Meanwhile, Kuni, Julia and Asuka were looking for clues.

'Hey, gurlfriends. Look what I found.' said Asuka.

'Jinkies.' said Kunimitsu. 'It's a map of the manshion showing burried treasure. I think we just about solved this mystery. Now let's find Xiao and Panda and trap this ghost once for all.'

Meanwhile, Xiao and Panda were massaging the ghost.

'Ja, you like our massage.' said Xiao.

'Raaaouurrr!' shouted the ghost.

'Zoinks. Like, Panda, girl I think we have been discovered.' said Xiao.

'Raaaaoooaar!' roared the ghost again.

'Like, run, Panda.' said Xiao and she and Panda ran.

As they ran, they tripped over some punh bowls and trapped the ghost in one.

'Like, we captured the ghost, Panda.' said Xiao.

'Good work, guys.' said Kuni. 'And now to see who this ghost is.' and she pulled his mask off.

'Heihachi Mishima?!' shouted everyone as they saw who the ghost was.

'Yes. Heihachi wanted to steal the treasure of the mansion and used the ghost legend to scare everyone away.' explained Julia.

'And I would have gotten away with it too, if it weren't for you meddling kids and your stupid Panda.' said Heihachi.

'Scooby-Dooby-Doo.' said Panda.

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**AN: Zoinks, this is like chapter four. Like unbeleivable.**


	5. Ninja vs Pirates

**AN: Yello again for the next chappie. Now that evil Heihachi is caught, let's get down to some serious trick-or-treating.**

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As officer Lei Wulong carted Heihachi off, Julia, Asuka and Kunimitsu decided to go trick or treating. 

'So Asuka. What are you dressed as?' asked Julia.

'I am Amy the vampire gir!' said Asuka who ws dressed like Soul Calubur Amy.

'And you, Kuni?' asked Julia again. Incidentaly, Kuni was wearing perfectly normal clothes.

'I am a homicidal maniac. They always look normal.' said Kuni with a menacing voice.

'And I am Tira.' said Julia. 'I'm a psychotic European hottie with an excelent sense of dress and a flair for slicing people up.'

'Hello my fine ladies.' said Bryan who just arived.

'Hai, I very glad see you here.' said Yoshi who followed Bryan everywhere he went.

'What are you three fine madames doing?' asked Bryan.

'We are going trick-or-treating.' said Kuni. 'Are you two sensitive guys.'

'Why yes, we are.' said Bryan. 'I'm 32, single and I have a great hairdo. Even my momma thinks I'm gay.'

'Hai, and I ninja dressed as butterfly. I have lightsabre too.' said Yoshi. 'That gayest thing I know.'

'We told you we prefer pirates to ninja.' said Julia.

'Arr, I be a pirate.' said Paul who materialized nearby.

'Oh, we love pirates.' said Asuka. 'And wenches too.'

'Arrr, yer be me wenches.' said Paul and he grabbed every girl's ass.

'Are you telling me we hugged Lee and turned sensitive for nothing?' ased Bryan.

'I hug gay Ree for make pirate go with my girr?' asked Yoshi.

'Arrr, yer want to be me cabin boys, or ye walk the plank.' said Paul.

'Okay, that's it. Time to get piratifyed.' said Bryan. 'What must we do to become pirates?'

'I read on internets forum that we can many worsip please Flying Spaghetti kami Gojira. His discipres pirates.' said Yoshimitsu.

'English, please.' said Bryan.

'We start worship Flying Spaghetti Monster and be pirates.'

'Arrr, pastalelujah.' said Paul. 'I already be worshiping the FSM and I get many wenches that way.'

'Well, that leaves us high and pastadried.' said Bryan.

'RAmen to that.' said Yoshi.

'You like ramen?' asked Kuni.

'Hai. Ramen good for you. Many time very healthy and give good motion of ocean.' explained Yoshi.

'Arrr, keep yer dirty hands off me wench, ye flee-infested scurvy cur!' cried Paul and he pulled out his cuttless.

'Sakuhatchi!' shouted Yoshimitsu and pulled out his katana.

The two fought like there was no tommorow forever to settle the score of who is cooler. Ninja vs. Pirates.

'Ultimate showdown of ultimate destiny!' shouted Yoshimitsu as he tried to slice Paul.

'Arrr, ye shore-loving scurvy cur!' yelled Paul as he tried to stab Yoshimitsu.

While the two fought, Bryan was chatting with the girls.

'So, ladies. What say you. Shall we go trick or treating?' he asked.

'Yea. Ninja and pirates are so lame.' said Kuni. 'Let's hang out with the sensitive guy.'

'But what about Paul and Yoshi?' asked Asuka.

'I thought you lost every ounce of your heterosexuality.' said Julia.

'Yes, I did.' said Asuka. 'Now I want to lift weights.'

'You're hott.' said Bryan and he and the girls went trick or treating.

Meanwhile, Paul and Yoshi stopped fighting, being tired and all.

'Arrr, that gigolo be walkin' away with our foine wenches.' said Paul.

'Hai. Now I must avenge clan honour because he stole girlfriend and other sexy girls.' related Yoshi.

'Arr, what talk that be about yer clan?' asked Paul. 'I've gots me a poirate ship and a loyal crew.'

'Hai. But now please unite and kirr gigoro and avenge cran and pirate ship honour.' stated Yoshi.

'Arr, ye be talkin' good, laddie.' said Paul. 'I bet on me boxers we make a foine crew.'

'Hai, but I bet on briefs. Briefs many please shmexy.' said Yoshi.

'Arr, why I say arr all the toime?' asked Paul. 'Briefs be mighty constipatin', arr.'

'Desu. They no constipate me.' said Yoshi.

'Ye be havin' light vessel, laddie.' said Paul.

'It not size of boat! It motion of ocean!' yelled Yoshi.

'Arrr, that be cabin-boy talk.' said Paul.

'Ikebana! I no small vessel many time arigato!' said Yoshi. 'Briefs sexy!'

'Boxers!' shouted Paul.

'Briefs!'

'Boxers!'

'Briefs!'

'Arr, we be fightin' over stupid things.' said Paul as he came to his senses.

'Hai. We should focus getting back at gigoro!' said Yoshi. 'And then I many time soapland geisha.'

'Arr, we be better off with wenches.' said Paul.

'Geisha!' shouted Yoshi.

'Wenches!' yelled Paul

'Geisha!'

'Wenches!'

'Geisha!'

'Wenches!'

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**Domoh Arrr.. igato. I be many time please arr review.**


	6. Trick Or Treat

**AN: Trick or treat. Give me candy or face the consequences. **

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As Yoshi and Paul were fighting over what was better, Bryan and the girls went trick or treating. 

'Let's scare the shit out of somebody.' said Kunimitsu.

'No, let's scare their pants off.' said Julia.

'I say we keep our genitalia to ourselves.' said Asuka.

'Girls, girls.' called Bryan. 'Let's not fight,. We need to get some serious candy.'

'Yea, Zombie Gigolo Bryan is right.' said Kunimitsu. 'And he's also hott.'

'Speak for yourself.' said Asuka.

'Well, I do because I am hott too.' said Kunimtsu.

'You are not as hott as I am.' said Asuka.

'Yea, and I'm hotter than both of you.' said Julia. 'The only reason Kuni is in this fic is because Caligula gets off on masks.'

'That was definitely a piece of info nobody needed.' said Bryan. 'How bout we just say you are all hott?' he asked.

'Good point.' said Asuka.

'Anyways, let's trick or treat at this house.' said Kuni at one innocent looking house.

'Okay.' said Bryan. 'Trick or treat!' he yelled.

'OMG we have kids coming.' said someone from inside.

'Yea and we have to give them candy. Isn't that gnarley?' asked a second someone.

The door opened to reveal Mr. and Mrs. Roger. They were dressed in evening wear and had a bucketful of candy.

'OMG aren't they cute?' asked Mr. Roger.

'Yes I just wanna eat them up.' said Mrs. Roger.

'Wait till they guess we have costumes too.' said Mr. Roger.

'I can't believe you would bring that up. You're so cute in your suit.' said Mrs. Roger.

'Well, kids, can you guess who are we dressed up?' asked Mr. Roger.

'OmG I bet you can't.' added Mrs. Roger.

'Uhmmm... uhm... err...' said Asuka, Bryan, Kunimitsu and Julia.

'OMG I knew you wouldn't guess!' yelled Mr. Roger.

'We are Mr. and Mrs. Smith.' said Mrs. Roger/Smith.

'Now we are going to guess who you are.' said Mr. Roger.

'Yes this little cutie.' said Mrs. Roger pointing at Julia. 'She is definitely a princess.'

'No I am not.' said Julia in indiscretion. 'I am a psychotic hot bitch that kills people for fun.'

'Ah well.' said Mr. Roger. 'I am sure this young man is dressed like a proper English gentleman.' he said pointing at Bryan.

'Wrong.' said Bryan. 'I am a zombie gigolo.'

'That's a tad murky, don't you think?' asked Mrs. Roger. 'Now why are you dressed up all dark, young lady?' she asked Asuka.

'Because I'm a vampire, you conformist byatch.' said Asuka.

'Oh no so dark.' said Mr. Roger. 'And why don't you have a costume, little girl?.' he said as he addressed a full-grown Kunimitsu.

'I do. You should see what I regularly wear.' said Kuni.

'But you people are so dark? What is the matter with you? You should be cheerful and enthusiastic.' said Mrs. Roger.

'Maybe if we give you candy you'd cheer up. So here's candy and now please leave us to our demented sexual role-playing.' said Mr. Roger and he gave them candy and slammed the door in their faces.

'Well, that's lucky. We got both candy and a speech from the conformists.' said Asuka sarcastically.

'Yea well, let's see what we can get from some other house.' said Julia.

'Yes, let's do so.' said Bryan.

And so they went to a different house and said 'Trick or treat.'

'I'm coming.' said the elderly voice of Wang Jinrei.

'Oh great.' said Kunimitsu.

Fifteen minutes later, the door opened.

'Hellloooh, momma.' said Wang. 'I open the door and a bunch of hot girls waiting for me.'

'Ewwww, we came for candy.' said Asuka.

'How bout you, hon hon, give me candy.' said Wang in a sexy voice.

'Eww, you are so ooold.' said Julia.

'Awww, come on.' said old Wang and then his back crunched. 'Shot damn this arthritis!'

'Let's leave him alone, shall we?' asked Bryan and they left.

* * *

**AN: Well this is the chapter before last. The last one shall be written on Halloween and will be made of lol.  
**


	7. The Boskman Cometh

** AN: Well tune in for the final chapter of The Tekken Halloween Special now.**

* * *

As Bryan and the girls were trick or treating, Yoshimitsu and Paul were sneaking about, trying to sabotage Bryan's plan. 

'Arrr... Oi have a cunning plan.' said Paul.

'Hai. What is cunning pran you have. Does it involve shuriken?' asked Yoshimitsu.

'Arr, no. Oi was thinking, we get my poirate ship and shoot that scurvy cur with me cannons, laddie.' said Paul.

'So-reva. I rike shuriken.' said Yoshi.

'Arrr... shuriken be for land-lovers.' said Paul.

'Ha. Onry coward use guns. I many time use sirent weapon and strike from shadows.' said Yoshi.

'Arrr... Well then why ye be hanging out with me?' asked Paul.

'Because Bryan take our girl away.' said Yoshi.

'Yo, bitcchezz.. Whatchu doing here?' asked MC Boskonovitch who suddenly materialized.

'Ikebana!! Where you come from?' asked Yoshi.

'Arrr... ye be quite the Ninja yerself, matey.' said Paul, while rubbing his scruffy beard.

'Hehehe.. the Bosk be sleek and smooth. Why you think the Man can't catch me yet?' asked MC B.

'Who the Man?' asked Yoshi.

'The Bosk man!' shouted MC B and he started rapping.

_Yo! I've been hearing that a bunch of punk bitches  
out there are claiming that they got the skillz to go  
toe to toe with the Bosk man in the Quake arena.  
Ha ha ha. That's some funny shit.  
If you meet up with me on a Quake server, I'll shove my  
rail gun so far up your ass, It will knock out your teeth!  
Check it!_

_The Mighty Boskonovitch is a fucking Quake god,  
got my finger on the trigger and my eye on the quad.  
I know it's just a game, but I didn't come to play,  
the Bosk man cometh and he's bringing Doomsday.  
You say, "impressive", I already know it,  
I'm a hardcore player and I'm not afraid to show it.  
I got a Phd in pain and a masters in disaster,  
the mighty Boskonovitch is a fucking QuakeMaster._

_QuakeMaster, QuakeMaster.  
TheMighty Boskonovitch is a fucking QuakeMaster.  
QuakeMaster, of disaster.  
The Mighty Boskonovitch is a fucking QuakeMaster._

_We meet on a server, and I say "what's up?",  
when we go at it punk, I'm gonna fuck you up.  
Got you in my sights and I'm gonna make you bleed,  
get used to hearing this, "you have lost the lead."  
Cuz while your camping, I'll be cold lamping,  
then I'll kick it in, and your ass I'll be stamping.  
I got a Phd in pain and a masters in disaster,  
the mighty Boskonovitch is a fucking QuakeMaster._

_QuakeMaster, QuakeMaster.  
The Mighty Boskonovitch is a fucking QuakeMaster.  
QuakeMaster, of disaster.  
The Mighty Boskonovitch is a fucking QuakeMaster._

_All right! Now you know what time it is.  
I don't care if you're a newbie, or a low ping bastard,  
you step to me in the Quake arena and I'm going to tear you  
a new virtual Asshole.  
Yo! It will sound something like this..._

_**  
**_

_QuakeMaster, QuakeMaster.  
The Mighty Boskonovitch is a fucking QuakeMaster.  
QuakeMaster, of disaster.  
The Mighty Boskonovitch is a fucking QuakeMaster._

'Hai. Many times mighty skillz, MC Boskonovitch.' said Yoshi.

'Arr, ye be sticking it to the man, matey.' said Paul.

'So, whatchu want, homies?' asked MC B.

'Arr... we want to get them wenches, matey.' said Paul.

'Hai. We desperate and need sexy time soon.' said Yoshi.

'Then joo be comin' to the right G, cuz the Bosk is the mothafuckin' P.I.M.P.' said MC B.

And the three went down to Bryan and the girls who were trick or treating at Eddie Gordo's crib.

'Trick or treat.' said the four in unison.

'Ya mon. Mesa love Halloween, mon.' said Eddie.

'Yo, mamas.' asid MC B.

'OMYgosh it's MC Boskonovitch!' shouted the girls.

'Jeah, bitchezz. Joo be going to the Bosk's crib.' said MC B.

'Hey, what about me?' asked Bryan. 'I am sensitive.' he said and fixed his hair.

'Arrr, ye be a scurvy cur, ye blasted idiot.' said Paul.

'Hai. And I forgot to avenge cran honor by kicking your ass.' said Yoshi.

'Honestly, I have no idea what you guys are talking aboot.' said Bryan.

'Arrr, shut yer piehole and walk the plank!' shouted Paul as he grabbed Bryan and threw him at Eddie. The pair landed with a loud crash in a garden shed.

'Bryan? You dead mon?' asked Eddie.

'Yeah, mon.' said Bryan.

'Best we be leavin' them bitchezz here.' said MC B and he left with the girls.

'Arr, what about us?' asked Paul.

'Hai. I want get laid too.' said Yoshimitsu.

'If you guys didn't intervene, I would have had my hansd full of b00bz now.' said Sensitive Bryan.

'Hai. Now that you here, now I can finally avenge cran honour.' said Yoshimitsu fro the umpteenth time.

Just then, Kazzy Spookenstein appeared with a pumpkin carved with the Flying Spaghetti Monster.

'Flying Spaghetti Monster! Flying Spaghetti Monsteeer!' sang Kazzy.

'Arrr... I be a pirate and saint of FSM. I go with Kazzy.' said Paul and he left.

'Ah, too bad.' said Bryan. 'Well, that leaves only one thing to do.' he said. 'Let's fight.'

'Hai. Now I finally do what is right and kick crap out of you.' said Yoshimitsu and they started fighting.

xXxXxXxXxXxXxXx

Epilogue:

Yoshi finally beat Bryan and then the two went out to grab some beer. They met some girls and did someting.

Jack the Creepy butler got employed as a janitor by a certain shrink.

Kazzy Spookenstein managed to keep his cool and now resides in Mishima Manor whne he occasionally grows a moustache when nobody is looking.

Heihachi got sent to prison for trying to scare everyone. There he rose to become a prison boss.

Julia and Kunimitsu got grossed out at the sight of MC Boskonovitch and ran away. Asuka said 'I told you so.' to them.

Xiao and Panda got arrested for abusing marijuana.

Marduk became a champion of mud-wrestling while naked.

Paul followed the FSM and is now in heaven where he now enjoys the beer volcanoes and the stripper factory.

Caligula II decided that this will be his final holiday special and would like to thank everyone who read, reviewed and was otherwise associated with this fic.

Bye and may FSM be with you.


End file.
